Melbourne Cafe Reviews

Badde Manors
37 Glebe Point Rd
Glebe

Ph (02) 9660 3797

A mere two nights in the great city finds me in a bus on Broadway that steps me down at the start of Glebe Point Road. I must confess to a love of Sydney and its inner locale—Glebe, Rozelle, Balmain, Redfern, Potts Point, Paddington, Newtown. I am pulled, inevitably, to one or the other.

I wander until I reach the corner at Francis St, and the cafe that etches itself here. I enter, and find a nest of little wooden booths, some with single seats, solid parquet hardwood floor (yes I like hardwood floors and the gain of timber), soft off-red walls and wide windows out to Glebe Point Road and Francis St. Service is excellent—genuine friendly people—and efficient. Music comes at correct vol—never disturbing of talk but softly loud enough to listen to if in the mood. This is the type of place where it can be difficult (between the hours of 6 to 7.30) to find a table. Portions are large; coffee is good. Example: antipasto platter of hummus dips, olives, greens, feta, bread, tomato and dill pickle @ $13.50 is enough for two. This applies to most of the meals. I eat here two nights and on both I notice the presence of cops who come in to order takeaway coffee; must be a good sign.

The crowd could be loosely termed ‘university’. Books and notebooks are present. There are many sole patrons.

Opening hours? Seems to be open all day and most of the evening (i.e. eating hours). Highly recommended.

Humpty Mick’s Cafe
Lord Howe Island

Ph (02) 6563 2287

This is the only other cafe option on the island apart from Thompson’s General Store which only serves coffee in paper cups. Humpty Mick’s doubles as a kind of flash restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It is also a bakery producing breads, pastries, cakes and slices of reasonable quality.

I gaze out through the glass doors past a screen of noble Norfolk Island pines and to the azure waters of the lagoon, to the magnificent mass of rock that is Mt. Gower, the tallest if the twin peaks on this dot of an isle on the South Pacific. I sit at a table set squarely on a hardwood floor. There are ten other customers on this late Sunday morning in May. My Lavazza long black is hot, maybe lacking in some punch, but acceptable by Melbourne standards.

White-painted walls, beige umbrellas, comfy cane chairs, chrome and stainless steel. Yep, my kind of place.

I have been here an hour and not one single car have I seen. A rack of bikes is out past the lone telephone booth. The Co-Op over the road is open. A three year old (with mother!) pushes a tiny tot in a pusher down the middle of the road.

Coral Cafe
Lord Howe Island

Ph (02) 6563 2488

I relax in a good chair in this very pleasant establishment which performs functions of Information, History and Conservation as well as cafe (and restaurant at night). I am here at my usual midafternoon hour. Tables are partially filled. I notice that most chairs have names on their backs and am told that the names of the people mean they have donated the chairs. A nice touch, especially in a tourist precinct where the bland and the impersonal frequently blend supreme. There are are cakes, slices and other sweet offerings. Wary from past experience, I ask for a very hot coffee. The coffee when it comes is convincing enough in taste but lacks that heat, which disallows me the pleasure of contemplation over a cooling period. Nonetheless I commend this place for its ambiance and quality of its service.

Food Wine Friends
2/6 Ireland St
Bright

Ph (03) 5750 1312

The blondwood bench faces the street, equipped with four stools. On the bench sit three pretty mauve/pink water bottles nesting in a small wicker basket. In addition to the usual cafe fare, wine and condiments are sold as well. The wall next my table is of warm orange, and tables too are blondwood. This place possesses a sleek but warm ambiance. Local produce is strongly in evidence—for example, the Milawa Taste Plate—”a selection of Milawa bread, toasted and served with butter and choice of spreads”.

Excellent Genovese coffee. Across the road, the golden letter of the sign on the Edelweiss Bakery glisten in the mid morning sun. It is early June and the ravishing colours of the autumn still glow on trees around town.

Yes—a tourist town par excellence, but the time I’m here it’s past peak. There’s a return to gentle country pace, and a trance of schoolkids who pass by in their blue uniforms gladdens my heart.

The cafe is confortably three-quarters full and talk and music is muted. I like the way the door squeaks.

Lighthouse Stables and Tea Rooms
7 Federal St
Aireys Inlet
Ph (03) 5289 6830

This place is signposted from The Great Ocean Road and is easy to find. It is a delight, an oasis in a desert of overpriced and poor quality cafs along this famous strip of the Victoria Coast.

The cafe is a small white-painted weatherboard a few hundred metres from the elegant white pile of the Aireys Inlet lighthouse. Tables outside in the open air, a few under the verandah and two or three inside. Know a pet hate? A farrago of cakes for sale all heaped upon the one plate. I like my goodies on separate display. Too often, in this roam along the Victorian Surf Coast, have I been confronted by the former in my caf visits. My friend and I select a savoury scone from a range of biscuits, muffins and cakes, which when it comes is accompanied by a small dish of light orange chutney. My l.b. is of fine quality and the bill for two coffees and two cakes comes to $12—a very fair prince along a tourist strip where often you’ll pay 50% more for similar fare.

Milkshakes, spiders and sandwiches are also available. Wooden floorboards and fascinating old photos of ships and ancestral characters adorn the walls. Various touristy items—cards, booklets, toys, canned fish—are for purchase.

I listen to a group of six at another table. Two are English, bound for Port Campbell. One of the Aussie blokes says to him, ‘You can catch helicopter ride over the Twelve Apostles. If you hang by a rope it’s half-price.’ They leave and we too vanish, bound for our clifftop walk.

Laneway 73
73 Great Ocean Rd
Anglesea
Ph (03) 5263 3113

In a little space wedged between two shops and covered over in transparent plastic sheeting, is to be found Laneway 73. It’s a most inviting place to be seduced into on a lovely afternoon in early autumn. The Rasilia coffee machine fronts the establishment and seems to be doing a quiet but regular trade in takeaways. Three tables and a bench down the alley and a few tables out on the street. Amazingly, for a seaside caf, The Age is available for perusal, along with other papers and mags on a bench. I settle in for a long lazy read, my bus not due for well over an hour.

A voice from the street—’Takeaway latte thank-you my good man, and could you make that a little bit hotter than the norm?’ Aha, puzzle solved. My l.b. was one of those tepid jobs that I’d encountered a few times in Bendigo recently, and I was beginning to wonder whether a few proprietors were following American style, fearing lawsuits from burnt-lipped customers. Coffee is Gravity and the only goodies are small (very small) over-priced biscuits—so small they should be coffee-accompaniments, not sold. But the ambience is wonderful, and secreting myself here, paper in hand, coffee at elbow and with the thought of a soon-to-be bus ride along The Great Ocean Road, is a delight I am quite happy to share with the gods. And the shade of Kierkegaard.

Spoons Cafe
42 Sackville St
Port Fairy
Ph (03) 5568 3452

A brief note. We’d dined here the night before (very good) and now I pop in for a coffee. Intimate space. Two lemon easy chairs. Papers. My l.b. is perfect—half fill, rich crema and a small jug of hot water if I wish to alter the strength. A perfect shortbread on a dark green plate. This place is run by young people with vigor and enthusiasm. Highly recommended.

Bella Claire Gourmet House
28 Bank St
Port Fairy
Ph (03) 55681610

Large square date scones arrive on square white plates with two big triangles of butter in a small round jar. I ask for my strong l.b. and the girl says, ‘double shot?’ She asks the amount of water I want. Two-thirds fill I say. When the coffee lands it’s good. This place does lunches and sells gourmet goodies of all descriptions—biscuits, condiments, cheeses, jams—as well as Timboon icecream. A few tables out on the street, some inside the shop and a scattering out to the courtyard in the rear. I like it out here in a narrow breezeway with a rough scribbled wall on one side and a solid bluestone on the other. To the north I lift my gaze and see big columns swell in the sky. Two unseen persons recount tales of their childhood. Things aren’t cheap here in Port Fairy, but who cares? The service is amiable, time is ample, it’s early Feb 09 and kids and teachers now back in their shackles.

The Epicurean Delicatessen
79 Mitchell St
Bendigo
Ph (03) 5443 2699

Earlier in the morning I’d peered through the windows of this establishment and noticed a distinguished looking man of mature years at work on the coffee machine. After a succession of lukewarm efforts at other places, would my luck turn when I came back in the afternoon?

Why is it that invariably in country Victoria, the province of coffee-making is anybody’s job—kids, girls—with all the attendant horrors of general disinterest, lack of style, overfull cups, and dirty machines? But when I front in, it’s a girl at the machine. My l.b. is hot enough, but no crema and a flat texture.

At least my small humingbird cake is fine. Small selection of tarts, pastries, cakes and biscuits. Large selection of Italian meats and cheeses. Vivaldi and guitar music on the CD.

Strong plastic French-style chairs. A few tables and chairs outside on the pavement. There’s a courtyard at the rear, with four or five small olive trees in large pots. Coffee machines for sale. A warm wall of Tuscan red, large gilt-frame mirror. Photos of Paris & Venice in black and white.

No prices displayed—a worry. This is one of those places where you cop the glance on entering. There’s an air of aloofness and complacency here that disquiets me.

Dench Bakers
109 Scotchmer St
North Fitzroy
Ph 9486 3554

I’ve lobbed here with two companions, so it’s past the wall and into the kitchen and a seat for three at a bench of polished and painted wood in colours of red, blue white and yellow.

It’s early afternoon at this clearly popular place and many products have sold out—no escargots, fruit buns or croissants. So I settle for a small citrus tart of exquisite quality—rich, melting, syrupy. My l.b. is excellent.

Staff are polite, intelligent, courteous. Our glasses of water are filled as required. No fuss. There’s plenty of staff moving about the place. Music is soft.

Cooked breakfasts include poached/fried eggs on organic sourdough, cinnamon french toast and parsley, or scrambled eggs on brioche with oven roasted tomato. Patrons in for lunch are referred to the specials board—chef’s salad, tart of the day, egg and bacon pie with salad. There’s even take-home meals including dips and soups.

It strikes me that the ready, natural filling of the glasses is a sign: stay here, you don’t need to buy more, we like your company …

I’m putting Derrida aside for the moment and reading Carver. Beat this for an opener: ‘My marriage had just fallen apart. I couldn’t find a job. I had another girl. But she wasn’t in town. So I was at a bar …’

I ask the waitress if she’s heard of Raymond Carver. She hasn’t. I write Carver’s name on a slip of paper and make to give it to the waitress when we leave. But she’s on the ball—she shows me ‘Raymond Carver’ written on a serviette.