Melbourne Cafe Reviews

Mallee Sunsets Gallery Cafe
Henty Hwy
Rosebery (south of Hopetoun)

Ph 0438 301 566

Now folks this is truly a little off beat job. Traveling north up the Henty from Warracknabeal, and through the tiny hamlets of Brim and Beulah, one arrives at the Mallee Sunsets Gallery Cafe, converted white timber church located right on the highway.

There is an outdoor dunny and a few tables outside on the cooler southern side of the building. Here you will find Mallee shrubs and geraniums and quaint unobtrusive knickknacks too numerous for detail. Walk outside to the road wending west and gaze east. You’ll be amazed at the beautiful line of the land, the dottings of trees, and the vast empty sky. You may even be overcome by the remoteness and loneliness of this locale — a special pleasure and delight for those whose souls are solitary.

Inside there are 7 or 8 tables. Maxine’s photos on a wall and there’s also artworks and a teddy bear collection. In one corner, in a shrine-like arrangement, are photographs of all the weddings that have ever taken place with the structure’s once-sanctified portals. Maxine Mitchell is the proprietor and she is also a picture-framer. In addition she sells jewelery and framed cross-stitching. The cafe serves good coffee (make sure you notify Maxine that you are a connoisseur), and wonderful light fluffy scones with oodles of jam and cream. There are no cakes, but a variety of biscuits. She serves sandwiches and light lunches.

If you’re coming south down the highway from Mildura or Ouyen you will find this oasis some 10k south of Hopetoun.

Mallee Sunsets is open Wednesday to Sunday, 9.00–5.30 pm. Highly recommended.

The Epicurean Delicatessen
79 Mitchell St
Bendigo
Ph (03) 5443 2699

Earlier in the morning I’d peered through the windows of this establishment and noticed a distinguished looking man of mature years at work on the coffee machine. After a succession of lukewarm efforts at other places, would my luck turn when I came back in the afternoon?

Why is it that invariably in country Victoria, the province of coffee-making is anybody’s job—kids, girls—with all the attendant horrors of general disinterest, lack of style, overfull cups, and dirty machines? But when I front in, it’s a girl at the machine. My l.b. is hot enough, but no crema and a flat texture.

At least my small humingbird cake is fine. Small selection of tarts, pastries, cakes and biscuits. Large selection of Italian meats and cheeses. Vivaldi and guitar music on the CD.

Strong plastic French-style chairs. A few tables and chairs outside on the pavement. There’s a courtyard at the rear, with four or five small olive trees in large pots. Coffee machines for sale. A warm wall of Tuscan red, large gilt-frame mirror. Photos of Paris & Venice in black and white.

No prices displayed—a worry. This is one of those places where you cop the glance on entering. There’s an air of aloofness and complacency here that disquiets me.

Vines Cafe & Bar
74 Barkly St
Ararat

Ph (03) 53521744
(Closed Wednesdays)

From The Age Good Food Guide 2007, ‘If only every Victorian town had an all purpose eatery and quaffery like this. Vines has the informal atmosphere of a great little breakfast spot but also feels special if you settle in for a serious evening meal.’

Initial feelings are rather less assuring. An interior door is unhinged and cranks open with difficulty. Banquettes are turned up at the edges. The place seems dusty.

But wait. The food is good and well-priced. Mine is a spanocopita for $12 with excellent salad. Delectable cakes. My standard l.b. has no crema in an over-the-limit fill.

There are two sections. The front, facing Barkly St. Those French cane chairs. Seems this place for mums and kids. Inside—tables and banquettes. Soft ochre walls and ceilings. And here’s the real treasure—perfect space. Tables not too close, not too far away. Never, in a cafe, have I seen before such perfection in this respect. I occupy a corner. I face across to the coffee machine. In another corner, ranks of wine.

Water at room temperature (a plus). Thick napkins. There’s a chalked sign that says, ‘All children running loose and unattended will be towed away and stored at the owner’s expense’. I fail to see any unattended children.

I’m here on the day after Obama’s inauguration. Auspicious. I feel expansive, relaxed, lazy. I grow into this place. It is good, despite the coffee. Service is well-paced. Music is very soft or non-exisitent. I have an hour before I return to the station and board the bus that will whisk me west. I plan that hour here.

Georgie’s Cafe
Main St
Stawell VIC

Grey lino floor; black tables; comfortable chairs; a pair of sofas at the front window. On this cold June day I am alone with a cope of Alistair MacCLeod’s Island.

Shelving holds items of variable interest: Mt Zero kalamata olives; jars of dukkah and olive oil; free-range eggs from Great Western; Silvertip teas; honey from the Grampians Lavender Patch.

Normal things on offer: soups; egg & bacon muffin; raisin toast; ham & cheese toastie; tomato & salami frittata. You get the picture. My lentil & vegie soup is of fair quality. Two remarkable pieces of bread accompany the soup. I do wish cafes, especially in the rural realms, would pay a little more attention to the comfort of a good whack of real bread.

Coffee is ordinary, yet it promises more. In fact the whole place promises more. It lists through the excellence of a few sweet things—my French vanilla slice @ $4.50 was of a rare quality.

After lunch I am directed by a friendly local to the library. Here I find bliss. A warm inviting space with comfortable reading chairs and a big work table overlooking a discrete courtyard. The peace and silence of a library in a quiet country town. Melbourne knows nothing of this. I pick up Dorothy Rowe’s blue-covered Depression from a shelf and nestle into a comfy chair. My bus is yet hours away.

Bagdad Foods Cafe
50 Darlot St 
Horsham VIC
(Crn Darlot & Natimuk Rd. Next to Baker’s Delight)

Casting a leftwards glance through the vertical window, the lurid colours of WIMMERA BOLTS AND FASTENERS meet my gaze. A shit-heavy B-double lumbers past the roundabout and heads down Natimuk Road. But inside the cafe, at my blackpainted table, I listen to the tinkle of plates and cutlery being delivered up to the dishwasher. It’s 2 p.m. The lunch crowd have disappeared. Unlike Melbourne, this wonderful country establishment is peopled at regular times.

There is a tiled front section and a few tables on the pavement outside the building. On the wall, a mirror framed in the form of a pineapple. From the tiled area, up a step, is the small carpeted inner sanctum, set up with two larger tables, one table for four and two tables for two. On the shelves sit books of enticing titles: Frank Lloyd Wright: Prairie Houses; James Martin Desserts; Italian Country Living; Morocco by Philippe Saharoff and Francesca Torre. Copies of The Age, Herald Sun and The Wimmera Mail Times are always available.

Greg, (the owner along with his wife Judith) makes Fiery Bengal Chutney, Dukkah, Moroccan Style Dressing and other tasty bits and pieces. These products too grace the shelves and benches.

Some of the lunch offerings today include pumpkin soup and roll ($7.50); Shepherds Pie with salad ($10.50); Spinach, leek & fetta tart ($9.50); Madras Lamb Curry ($14.50); and vegetarian quiche and salad ($12.50). Pieces of hedgehog (a country staple) and totally wicked big thick choc-topped Anzacs are $3.00. All food is made on the premises or at home, and is fresh, tasty and attractively presented.

Excellent Monte coffee is served, and tea comes in elegant china cups.

And if you call in, tell ’em where you found ’em. They’ll appreciate it.

jus Scrumptious
Main St
Chalton

Chalton is a small township on the Calder Highway, in the north-eastern Wimmera. People passing though should plan a stop at this smart establishment. On entering, one is greeted with solid square tables and long-wearing blue carpet flecked in red and yellow. The colour scheme throughout is blue and cream and on hot summer days cavernous space takes on a welcoming, ever alluring prospect.

Cakes, sandwiches and focaccias feature on the menu and a highlight for us was the light fluffy scones, jam and cream. Coffee is workmanlike and a slight impost is charged for a double shot. Breakfast lasts till 10 a.m., lunch till 3. Cakes and slices are placed in little stands on the counter. All Melbourne daily papers are available for reading, a rare treat in the country. Against the exposed brick wall, one finds a stand of gourmet — sauces, Murray salt, dukkah. Big wide windows give a view across the road to the still-operating Rex Theatre.

A few chairs and tables occupy space on the pavement. Staff are restrained, friendly, professional. There is a feeling this place is valued by the locals, and on our last visit the air was filled with a mixture of American and Australian accents. Eight farming types gathered around a table, deep in discussion. Ah, the ever-varying happenings in the Victorian cafe scene.

And dear reader, as a coda, hearken to these lines of the great incomparable Nietzsche — ‘He who has come only in part to a freedom of reason cannot feel on earth otherwise than as a wanderer — though not as a traveller towards a final goal, for this does not exist. But he does want to observe, and keep his eyes open for everything that actually occurs in the world; therefore he must not attach his heart too firmly to any individual thing; there must be something wandering within him, which takes its joy in change and transitoriness.’

Café Pharmacino
Woolcock St
Warracknabeal

Ph. (03) 53 981713
Open 9.00am-5.00pm Daily

Pharmachino was Warracknabeal’s first cafe. Named such because it is attached to the town’s Pharmacy. It is, however, quite a separate space. Scott St is the main street, Woolcock is a quieter side street. A large glass frontage forms the café’s Woolcock street wall. Plenty of natural light floods in. There’s about six tables inside, and a childrens’ play area inside and out. A good design, allowing parents enjoy a coffee as well.

Order and pay at the counter is the system used. On offer are cakes, scones (herb or plain), focaccias, sandwiches, cookies and biscuits. I ordered a long black and scones with jam and fresh cream. The service is quick, a wait of about three minutes. The long black comes with a decent crema and good flavour, you get a small wrapped mint choc on the side. The scones were excellent, fresh, right amount of jam and cream.

At 3.00 p.m. there’s a couple of 16 year olds chatting at a window seat, and behind me a man and his son. There’s no rush here, you feel can sit for a while and read the provided newspapers.

Café Chickpea
30A Pynsent Street
Horsham, Victoria
(03) 5382 3998

It’s 1.00 p.m. This cafe is very busy. Two rooms: a main one to the left as you walk in — about ten tables, and the main entry, a couple of tables here. We decide to sit in the quieter side, (main entry) and this too is where you order. Options are wide. Focaccia, falafel, sandwiches, rolls, pies and quiches. I see a nice looking quiche go out with a stack of golden chips on the side. I order a focaccia with chicken schnitzel, lettuce and lemon juice. And a long black for coffee.

There’s no music on and the cafe instead is full of chatter and working sounds, dishes, cups and saucers moving about. I find the lack of music a fresh change. The folk here seem to be those getting away from work for lunch and those who don’t have to work, but are here for lunch anyway. Tables are neat, wooden and study, as are the chairs. You order and pay at the counter, and are handed metal stalk with a table number perched on top. Service is quick and friendly.

The food is neatly presented and tasty. The focaccia is fresh, the schnitzel not to big, and it has a herby coating — quality is the key. The long black is hot and fairly strong. It hasn’t got the flavour and strength it could have, but it does fairly well.